A story of Gods grace in my life is the only way to describe this last pregnancy and birth. Many people have wondered and asked about how it went, as it took so long, so I decided to be open and share with you all what God did in my life during those two days that I was in labor. I want to give Him the honor and glory that He is due, because without HIM, I am nothing and can do nothing.
This pregnancy was by far the hardest one that I've gone through. Even though none of my pregnancies were a piece of cake, this one took the cake. (hahahahaha :)) Throughout it, there was a lot of nausea and vomiting, lots of pain and discomfort, and exhaustion. Every day was a struggle. Through it all, Gods strength and calming presence were a constant. "My daughter, take one day at a time. I am here."
Then the day came. It began about 2:00am, when I woke up with a very bad panic attack that lasted for about an hour. See, going back three years to when Aaron was born, I was given a medicine that caused me to have symptoms of a heart attack, and then later started the panic attacks. Since then, I have figured out how to control them somewhat, but that time in my life was incredibly hard. So I was already nervous about this birth, with all the memories of Aaron's birth fresh on my mind, and I woke up panicking. Thank you Lord for my husband, who spent those hours in the early morning with me praying and singing and talking with me. We didn't get much sleep, but had to leave at 6:30AM for the capital to see the doctor. When she checked me, I was at 6cm! But because the night before I had had stomach issues, she sent me to the ER to get an IV of fluids to help me get some strength back. After awhile, I started walking around and doing all sorts of positions to help little miss come quickly! But the contractions continued to be inconsistent, so by the end of the day, I was exhausted and had not advanced at all. The doctor agreed to let me sleep and rest through the night, and she would break my water in the morning. I was quite discouraged by this point, because by now I thought she would have been born, and the pain would be past. But through the night, the contractions continued inconsistently, but I was able to rest and sleep some. By 5:30 in the morning, they started to get more consistent. So when the doctor came at 8:30, I was SURE that I was at least 8cm. But, no, I wasn't. I was still at 6. I won't lie and say I was fine by this point. I cried and a lot. I cried out to the Lord and asked why it was taking so long, why wasn't it advancing, why He had me going through so much pain. The day before I had read in Philipians 4:4-7 which says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." These words came to my mind in that moment, but especially the part that says, "The Lord is near.....". "My daughter, I am near. Everything is going to be fine, just trust Me."
Well, by this time, the contractions were hard and fast, but I was still not advancing. The doctor figured out that little miss was crooked....her head was hitting my pelvic bone, so thats why I was not advancing. I started praying at this point, asking the Lord to help me make the best decision, but for some relief and help! After a bit, I felt this peace from the Lord to go ahead and ask for an epidural. I got some relief, but the epidural didn't take very well, so I was still in quite a bit of pain. We tried different positions, trying that the baby would move. She didn't budge. After the epidural wore off, I asked for more. At this point, everyone including the doctor said I shouldnt have any more, because then the contractions would probably stop. But I was quite firm, maybe too much so LOL, that I have more. I prayed again, and God gave me a peace once again to go ahead. So I got a stronger dose and was able to relax my body enough to move some more to get little miss into position. She FINALLY moved! The doctor was saying how lucky I was that the contractions hadn't stopped, but I knew who was directing the show. Half an hour later, Keziah was born.
As you can imagine, I was exhausted at this point, but things weren't over yet. The doctor, my doula, and Sadrac started panicking as I started hemorraging. Suddenly there was a flurry of activity, as they tried to get the bleeding to stop. I started feeling quite weird and weak, but again, that voice was there...."My daughter, I am here. Remember, the Lord is near." They finally got it to stop and I was able to hold my baby girl, after 27 hours of labor.
The story doesn't end there though. See, I am A negative blood type and Keziah was born O positive. Later I figured out that Aaron was also O positive, but as far as I know, I was not given the vaccination to prevent either of us from having to have a blood transfusion. But again, God was in control, and we were both healthly and fine.
This story is long, I know, but I want God to get all the glory and honor for giving me the strength and peace that I needed through this whole process, and for HIM being the healer and doctor overseeing everything. Without Him, I was and am nothing. Physically and emotionally, I was weak. I wasn't strong enough. But through this whole thing, He is teaching me that no, I am not strong enough, I am nothing. But HE is strong for me, He is my everything. For when I am weak, HE is strong. Through my weakness, His strength can be seen. Thank you my Savior and Lord for your grace and patience in my life!
